| Headingley collapse is the latest installment in a | | | | the same match. The nadir of a shambolic tour to |
| sorry English tale | | | | the land of the long white cloud in 1983 was the |
| Watching the sorry procession of English batsman | | | | 2nd Test at Christchurch, where after New |
| heading back to the pavilion yesterday at | | | | Zealand made 307 in their 1st innings, England |
| Headingley after yet another injudicious shot | | | | were shot for 82 and 93, following on, to lose by |
| reminded me that being an England cricket fan | | | | an innings. Richard Hadlee had match figures of 8 |
| can be tough. | | | | for 44. |
| In fact, with alarming regularity, England's batting | | | | 7. 162 all out, 2nd innings, vs New Zealand, 4th |
| has a tendency to brittleness and being prone to | | | | Test, The Oval, August 19-22 1999 |
| collapse like a house of cards in a force nine gale. | | | | In this fourth and deciding Test of the series, |
| On far too many occasions in 30 years of | | | | England suffered the ignominy of defeat against a |
| following England expectation and anticipation can | | | | New Zealand side that had previously been ranked |
| quickly turn into crushing disappointment, misery | | | | the worst team in Test cricket. Chasing 245 to |
| and despair. | | | | win, England slumped from 123 for 2 to 162 all out |
| Here are ten of England's worst batting | | | | to replace the Kiwis at the bottom of the |
| performances over this time. Unfortunately, it is | | | | rankings. Fortunately, Nasser Hussain recovered |
| not an exhaustive list but merely one compiled of | | | | from this inauspicious start to his captaincy to help |
| those disasters freshest in the mind. | | | | forge a more resilient England side in tandem with |
| 1. 51 all out, 2nd innings, vs West Indies, 1st Test, | | | | Duncan Fletcher. |
| Kingston, 4-7 February 2009 | | | | 8. 203 all out, 1st innings, vs South Africa, 2nd |
| We only have to go back six months to the day | | | | Test, Headingley, 18-21 July 2008 |
| to remember the last shambolic batting | | | | Only one year ago at the same venue as |
| performance. In what proved to be the definitive | | | | yesterday's sorry performance, England were |
| day of a turgid series, England started their 2nd | | | | shot out for 203 by a South African side that had |
| innings 74 runs behind. Just 33.2 overs later | | | | just had to save the 1st Test at Lords. England, |
| England were all out for 51, losing by an innings. | | | | who had brought the hitherto unknown Darren |
| Coincidentally, this was a role reversal of what | | | | Pattinson in for Paul Collingwood, were blown |
| had happened at the same ground five years | | | | away in 52.3 overs. South Africa responded with |
| before when Steve Harmison, with 7 for 12 had | | | | 522 and England eventually lost by ten wickets. |
| bowled the West Indies out for 47. | | | | This defeat and another one in the following Test |
| 2. 46 all out, 2nd innings, vs West Indies, 3rd | | | | at Edgbaston led to the resignation of Ashes hero |
| Test, Port of Spain, 25-30 March 1994 | | | | Michael Vaughan as skipper. |
| Having played well throughout the match, England | | | | 9. 155 all out, 1st innings, vs Australia, 1st Test, |
| had been set 194 to win and were confident | | | | Lords, 21-24 July 2005 |
| even though they needed to get the better of | | | | After bowling the Aussies out for 190, with |
| Curtly Ambrose and Courtney Walsh to reach | | | | Stephen Harmison taking 5 for 43, England |
| their target. Nineteen overs of hostile fast bowling | | | | collapsed to 21 for 5 thanks to their nemesis |
| later, England were dismissed for a paltry 46, | | | | Glenn McGrath. Although the Aussies went on to |
| Ambrose with 6 for 24 and Walsh 3 for 16. | | | | win this battle by 239 runs, England won the war, |
| 3. 79 all out, 2nd innings, vs Australia, 1st Test, | | | | the adulation, the Trafalgar Square celebrations |
| Brisbane, 7-10 November 2003 | | | | and their MBEs. So, despite the humiliation |
| After Nasser Hussain's bizarre decision to insert | | | | yesterday and the defeat that is likely to ensue, |
| Australia after winning the toss, England were | | | | can England repeat their recovery of 2005 and |
| always chasing this game especially with Matthew | | | | regain the Ashes at The Oval? |
| Hayden scoring a century in each innings. Set an | | | | 10. 102 all out, 1st innings, vs Australia, 4th Test, |
| unlikely 463 to win and needing to bat out a draw | | | | 7 August 2009 |
| on a decent batting wicket, England were | | | | Or could this be the day that England lost the |
| demolished for 79. And Mark Butcher scored 40 | | | | chance to regain the Ashes? Fears that in the |
| of this dismal total! | | | | absence of Kevin Pietersen, the England batting |
| 4. 175 all out, 2nd innings, vs Pakistan, 1st Test, | | | | was totally reliant on Andrew Strauss came to |
| Multan, 12-16 November 2005 | | | | pass. With Stuart Broad batting too high at |
| After dominating this match, with the still sorely | | | | number seven in the absence of Andrew Flintoff, |
| missed Marcus Trescothick scoring 193 in | | | | and the selectors continuing to rely on an out of |
| England's 1st innings and Andrew Flintoff taking | | | | depth Ravi Bopara, at number three, Australia |
| match figures of 8 for 156, England were set 198 | | | | roared back into the series. The end of this story |
| to win on the last day of the 1st Test. However, | | | | waits to be written. |
| they fell 22 runs short to the express pace of | | | | It's not all doom and gloom though, England have |
| Shoaib Akhtar and the wily spin of Danish Kaneira. | | | | recovered from inept batting displays before. It |
| The balloon of optimism from the 2005 Ashes | | | | may be clutching at straws, but solace can be |
| success had been burst after only one match. | | | | found if we go back to the Boxing Day Test in |
| 5. 129 all out, 2nd innings, vs Australia, 2nd Test, | | | | Durban of 2004. England were shot out for 139 |
| Adelaide, 1-5 December 2006 | | | | and South Africa replied with 332, a 1st innings |
| On the flattest of flat pitches England had scored | | | | lead of 193. In their 2nd innings, England scored |
| 551 for 6 in their 1st innings, with Paul Collingwood | | | | 570 for 7 declared, with Marcus Trescothick (132) |
| scoring a double century. Although Australia had | | | | and Andrew Strauss (136) putting on 273 for the |
| responded with 513 all out, surely England couldn't | | | | 1st wicket. This turnaround nearly resulted in an |
| lose from here? Even the Australians, Shane | | | | England win with South Africa struggling to 290 |
| Warne excepted, expected the game to meander | | | | for 8, chasing 378, when the game ended. |
| to a draw. However, after a shocking and timid | | | | Alternatively, we can always hope that the English |
| display England were bowled out for 129 in 73 | | | | weather could play a part. In 1997, with McGrath |
| overs. Australia won by six wickets, and England, | | | | taking 8 for 38, England were shot out for 77 in |
| with Flintoff crying as he bowled, never recovered | | | | their 1st innings in the 2nd Test at Lords. Luckily, |
| and lost the series 5-0. | | | | for the home side, the weather then played a |
| 6. 82 all out, 1st innings & 93 all out, 2nd | | | | decisive part and the game meandered to a draw. |
| innings, vs New Zealand, 2nd Test, Christchurch, | | | | After yesterday, it may seem unlikely, but we |
| 3-5 February 1983 | | | | can only hope for shades of Headingley 1981 and |
| Not one but two dismal batting performances in | | | | reincarnations of Botham and Willis! |