| True communication avoids aggravation and leads | | | | be ground-breaking. That's unrealistic. But there |
| to reciprocated appreciation and mutual | | | | needs to be far more sincere and enlightening |
| connection. The better we talk and listen, the | | | | lines of communication than there are not. |
| better we understand and the better our | | | | Remember how you and your someone talked at |
| relationships. | | | | the beginning? Remember the deep conversations |
| However, the antithesis of true communication is | | | | and the levels of learning you both experienced? |
| "small talk." It will kill your relationship easily and | | | | That's when you fell in love and that is a level you |
| quickly. | | | | need to try and maintain. |
| It's the "how was your day?" It's the "what do | | | | Another step in how to stop small talk from killing |
| you want for dinner?" It's the "love you, see you | | | | your relationship is to begin by letting it lead into |
| later" and the "what's the weather today?" that | | | | real conversations of learning. "How was your |
| slowly erode our relationships. Small talk lets us | | | | day?" could lead to "Honey, I honestly don't know |
| believe we're actually talking. Small talk lulls us into | | | | what you do at work? Tell me about it." Or |
| a false sense of "we communicate" when we | | | | "What's it like outside?" could lead to "I love the |
| really don't. | | | | rain. What season do you like?" Take it from |
| How to stop small talk from killing your relationship | | | | there and grow, grow and grow. Small talk is the |
| starts with having real talk instead. Real talk is | | | | weed, real talk is the garden. |
| about honest, sincere, non-judgemental and open | | | | Someone once said to me "But I know my |
| talking AND listening. It is about having the goal of | | | | husband so well, what do we have to talk about |
| knowing our special someone better at the end of | | | | now?" I reminded this person that her husband |
| the conversation than we knew them at the | | | | was alive some twenty-to-thirty years before |
| beginning. Many times we listen waiting to speak. | | | | she met him. I asked her had her husband shoved |
| Many times we think we're communicating but | | | | thirty years of experience, likes and dislikes, joys |
| we're not. Small talk is a mask that we get to | | | | and sorrows into her head. She agreed. She still |
| hide our relationship's struggling communication | | | | had much to learn as did he about her. |
| behind. | | | | Communication requires we get out of our own |
| Of course, not every verbal interaction is going to | | | | head and get our spouse into our hearts again. |