| The "Perfect Storm" | | | | article or move away? If you have decided you |
| The relationship seemed to slip away before | | | | sincerely want to win back that love then start |
| either of you realized what happened. Can you | | | | the cleanup process. Re-enter that relationship in |
| bring that love back? It happened all so quickly, a | | | | your mind. Go in and toss out all of the garbage |
| few course words, angry looking faces, slamming | | | | that cluttered your life. Throw out anything that |
| doors, banging pots and pans. The storm came | | | | made it difficult. Keep what was good about your |
| out of nowhere, like a monster hurricane. Where | | | | love, and haul away the bad stuff to the local |
| were the warning signs-no national weather | | | | landfill. Whatever complicated life between the |
| service bulletins to tell you it was coming. When | | | | two of you, walk away from it. Rebuilding a |
| the storm passed the devastation was all around | | | | relationship should not begin in a mud hole, it must |
| you. Now here you are picking through the rubble | | | | be built on a solid foundation. Love is that |
| of a relationship. Is there anything worth saving? | | | | foundation. It existed once, and it can rise again |
| What you had worked so hard to build is now | | | | from the ashes. |
| scattered to the four winds. Is it possible to undo | | | | How great was the relationship? |
| what was done-that will indeed will be a serious | | | | How special was that love? What made it so |
| challenge. | | | | great? Write down everything that you can |
| Can anything be salvaged? | | | | remember that was so special to both of you. |
| As the storm passes you try to win that love | | | | You should end up with a long list because you |
| back. But first you must look for something, | | | | wouldn't even consider rekindling it if it was |
| anything that may be salvageable. Is the damage | | | | worthless to start with. Once the list is complete |
| so severe that nothing can be saved? Take a | | | | you must focus on all of these great things and |
| hard look, think back over the days and | | | | leave the bad stuff in the rubble now behind you. |
| months-that time before the storm hurled its full | | | | The things you listed are the foundation and the |
| force between you. Perhaps you are thinking that | | | | cornerstone of a new structure, begin the |
| the damage that followed the breakup was to | | | | rebuilding process with vigor and the hope for a |
| devastating that there really isn't anything left to | | | | positive outcome. Trying to rebuild a relationship |
| save. You must assess the remains of the | | | | by merely slapping the parts together, or once |
| relationship, if any remains, to find even one single | | | | again it will blow away during the next time the |
| shred of what may prove to be worthwhile. Many | | | | wind blows. |
| times you, like so many other people, will | | | | As you build, keep in mind that too many people |
| overlook a positive spark in what now appears to | | | | will try to rebuild the relationship in a shape |
| be a burned out hulk. | | | | identical to what it was before the storm came |
| You have been through the most exhausting | | | | and it disintegrated. Perhaps it wasn't really that |
| period of your life. Your dreams for the future | | | | strong of a structure to begin with. Face the |
| are shattered mementos of what was. It will be | | | | truth-if it had been solidly built-it wouldn't have |
| very hard work to undo what was done-to win | | | | blown away when the winds began to blow. Build |
| that love back again. Step back and take a critical | | | | it better than it was before. This will mean both |
| look at what effort may be needed to win that | | | | of you will have to make changes. But change is |
| love back, and decide if it is really something you | | | | good. You will encounter many difficulties if you |
| want to do. | | | | try to build in the present but your thoughts are |
| It's like trying to put together a puzzle | | | | in the past. You must build using only the |
| The pieces of a failed romance may seem now | | | | strongest materials, leaving behind those things |
| like a puzzle with too many pieces missing. Ask | | | | that weakened the structure before. You can win |
| yourself if it makes sense to try to start again to | | | | your love back and you can make it survive the |
| put the pieces back together. Will trying to win | | | | worst of the storms. |
| back that love you had be just an exercise in | | | | Don't forget that one basic ingredient |
| futility? These are hard questions to answer. It's | | | | Every relationship, whether between friends or |
| like banging your head against the wall, but | | | | lovers has one basic ingredient-truth. If this was a |
| remember how good it feels when you stop | | | | problem in your love, then be certain that the |
| abusing yourself. Think about how you would | | | | relationship you rebuild is based on truth. There is |
| answer these questions, it could save you a lot of | | | | no stronger item in the foundation of a solid |
| unnecessary grief. | | | | structure. |
| Your choice now is, should I keep reading this | | | | |